Maria & Ergi: freakshow!

According to FB, both Maria & Ergi are against racism and nazism. Or so I understand from the articles they post in said social network, but who knows, they ALWAYS write in Greek. I am quite sure about Ergi, not so much about Maria. You see, we used to work together in a second-hand bookshop in bonnie Edinburgh, and her nickname then was "Maria the Jew". The reason for this name is obscure...

Once Maria & Ergi needed desperately to buy a new eiderdown, and so they went to the shops. Alas! they didn't know the current name for this house item is "duvet", and they were cold all winter. Freakshow!

Yesterday, they both fell in love with a leak:

The leak was in their kitchen's ceiling (they are still flatmates). Maria swears she saw it first, whereas Ergi reckons she caused it after so many years taking those long and steamy baths in the bathroom just above the kitchen. Conclussion: Ergi has to phone and pay Keith, the builder supposed to fix the leak.

Wanna know how they met? ... It's embarrasing.

Ergi, god bless her, didn't speak a word of English but all the same she moved from Heraklion to London to become a beautician. "Girls are less hairier in the UK", she said. She studied very hard for six years and finally she opened her own clinic: Ergiyes, always yes. Now change. It was really a tiny room full of mice and stuffed koalas. Guess who was the only person ever to cross the clinic's door?

No, it was not Camilla Parker-Bowles. It was María. "Dammit!", complained Ergi, "she IS hairy". Still, she accepted her as a client and she even tried to do something about Maria's hair. Unsuccessfully, obviously.  "Your hair is impossible", Ergi told Maria. "Look who's talking", was Maria's only reply. And they became lovers.

It didn't last long, both being so hairy. So Maria went for head-shaved men and Ergi too. But they became flatmates, although they couldn't stand each other. Maria was obsessed with cleaning and Ergi's favorite pastime was pulling her (own) hair. So Maria started using Ergi's haircomb.

Then, one fine day, Ergi attempted singing. She was not too bad at it and Maria, jealous, poured ketchup on Ergi's laptop. Ergi didn't mind, she had her latest application form saved in a pendrive. Maria didn't want Ergi to quit the Beauty World. Ergi didn't want Maria to quit olives. Things escalated quickly - awful Greeks - and they declared each other war. They fighted over an hour, biting and cursing mostly, and then Keith (the builder) asked for some more coffee and the war ended. Just like that.